Age is just a number, right? Hmmmmmm!

Well, after nearly five months of looking I got a fulltime, permanent job!!!!! I was approached about it after a very successful temp placement with the parent company. It made me feel really good to be offered something based on a good impression I had made. It is a sales and admin role and is going really well with a wee bit of potential to develop. The money is not fab but I can pay my rent and eat and have a bit of fun so what more can a girl ask – at this point anyway. Vancouver is both notorious and infamous for it’s low hourly pay and generally we suck it up.

I guess the big eye-opener during the job hunt was being forced to realise that women over 40 (35 in some sectors) struggle deeply to get satisfying, well-paid work. We struggle to get any work!! I am now 52 and prior to coming here felt great about my self. I never felt my age, looked my age or had to battle with employment issues because of it. As time went on here, I started becoming very self-conscious, felt old, ugly and unemployable. My boss was looking for someone older who had lived life a bit and didn’t feel a need to rush off to be with a new boyf in Toronto. The older workforce is largely ignored here and this is in part, due to it being a city of young employers and recruiters. Don’t get me started on recruiters……!!!!! Anyhoo, because it is a draw for start-up geeks, is sleek, cool and trendy, a female in her late 30’s and on is not always seen as being of benefit to an employer. This is a shame because Vancouver women of all ages are stylie, groomed, smart and gorgeous. We have so much to offer in terms of knowledge, skill and life experience and while this is not recognised now, it will be. I will bet on it.  I am changed by the job hunt but am determined to get back to feeling good about myself again.

Sundays are the worst day of the week for me and the day that I feel the most homesick and question what the hell I have done by moving here. I thought about it alot to day and had an ‘ah ha’ moment when I realised that rather than missing New Zealand, there is something missing in me and I keep looking externally to find what that is. My friends and family here are all in cute little couples and I am spending way too much time by myself. My social life is uneventful and I don’t get out and do alot so that needs to be fixed. Vancouver has loads to do and I plan to get amongst it. My good friend said that she misses having a comfort zone. We are always being encouraged to get outside our comfort zones, but when you start a new life somewhere you become very keen to develop one. It gives you a familiarity and security that is really crucial to feeling at home. Things still feel strange for me and while I feel at home I don’t feel that ahhhhhhhh feeling yet. It will happen over time. I have only been here 5 months.

Getting back to the single thing……a bit over it really. One of my goals for 2014 is to open my heart up to meeting someone. I am often hesitant to ask my couple friends if I can hang out with them (my insecurity about it rather than them not wanting to). Also, I have been happily single for a long time now and while in the phase of feeling totally unattractive to the opposite sex, am more open to the idea of meeting someone than I have been so that is progress.

So 2014 has alot for me to go after and I plan to hug it hard.

Lots of love,
Cinnamon
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10 of the 50 Things You Should Know………

It is an interesting challenge that I have taken on so here goes……

1.  You do really come to love the skin you’re in

2. Life really IS short

3. Lines and wrinkles and saggy boobs are meh

4. 50 is the new 40

5. Heels are for hitting prowlers with or sitting down in…whichever is easiest

6. The Little Black Dress is still the most important item to have in your wardrobe

7. It’s ok to lust after hot young men in boy bands

8. Men are just funny old things

9. Knitting is the new Yoga

10.  It is never too late for ANYTHING

Well here are ten of them anyway.

Watch this space for the next 10.

Love from the Chicky