Age is just a number, right? Hmmmmmm!

Well, after nearly five months of looking I got a fulltime, permanent job!!!!! I was approached about it after a very successful temp placement with the parent company. It made me feel really good to be offered something based on a good impression I had made. It is a sales and admin role and is going really well with a wee bit of potential to develop. The money is not fab but I can pay my rent and eat and have a bit of fun so what more can a girl ask – at this point anyway. Vancouver is both notorious and infamous for it’s low hourly pay and generally we suck it up.

I guess the big eye-opener during the job hunt was being forced to realise that women over 40 (35 in some sectors) struggle deeply to get satisfying, well-paid work. We struggle to get any work!! I am now 52 and prior to coming here felt great about my self. I never felt my age, looked my age or had to battle with employment issues because of it. As time went on here, I started becoming very self-conscious, felt old, ugly and unemployable. My boss was looking for someone older who had lived life a bit and didn’t feel a need to rush off to be with a new boyf in Toronto. The older workforce is largely ignored here and this is in part, due to it being a city of young employers and recruiters. Don’t get me started on recruiters……!!!!! Anyhoo, because it is a draw for start-up geeks, is sleek, cool and trendy, a female in her late 30’s and on is not always seen as being of benefit to an employer. This is a shame because Vancouver women of all ages are stylie, groomed, smart and gorgeous. We have so much to offer in terms of knowledge, skill and life experience and while this is not recognised now, it will be. I will bet on it.  I am changed by the job hunt but am determined to get back to feeling good about myself again.

Sundays are the worst day of the week for me and the day that I feel the most homesick and question what the hell I have done by moving here. I thought about it alot to day and had an ‘ah ha’ moment when I realised that rather than missing New Zealand, there is something missing in me and I keep looking externally to find what that is. My friends and family here are all in cute little couples and I am spending way too much time by myself. My social life is uneventful and I don’t get out and do alot so that needs to be fixed. Vancouver has loads to do and I plan to get amongst it. My good friend said that she misses having a comfort zone. We are always being encouraged to get outside our comfort zones, but when you start a new life somewhere you become very keen to develop one. It gives you a familiarity and security that is really crucial to feeling at home. Things still feel strange for me and while I feel at home I don’t feel that ahhhhhhhh feeling yet. It will happen over time. I have only been here 5 months.

Getting back to the single thing……a bit over it really. One of my goals for 2014 is to open my heart up to meeting someone. I am often hesitant to ask my couple friends if I can hang out with them (my insecurity about it rather than them not wanting to). Also, I have been happily single for a long time now and while in the phase of feeling totally unattractive to the opposite sex, am more open to the idea of meeting someone than I have been so that is progress.

So 2014 has alot for me to go after and I plan to hug it hard.

Lots of love,
Cinnamon
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Take Note…

Happy Friday from New Zealand

In my list of 50 things, I mentioned that each day is a chance to start over or to get it right or whatever!  I don’t know about you, but I find it such a relief that we can leave behind yesterday and start over today!!!

I am pretty good at beating myself up about what I should have done, didn’t do, could have done blah, blah, bloody blah and well, I am just over that way of thinking now. Living through earthquakes teaches you so much more than how quickly you can run……believe me. It shows you that whatever happened yesterday isn’t worth even revisiting because you may not have a today on which to even ponder it!!! Hell, the City I grew up in has fallen down and well, I am alive and life has alot to offer me.

You know what, the biggest thing I would do again is not make the mistake I made yesterday:

I made chicken stock from scratch, went to put it through the strainer and DID NOT HAVE A BOWL UNDERNEATH so the whole shebang went down the damn sink……..  I find it funny today. What the hell, it is only stock right????

Anyhoo, on to yet another university paper to write now. Have had three to do this week – phew!  Keeps my brain from shrivelling up though and that is a grand thing.

Ciao from the Chicky.