Age is just a number, right? Hmmmmmm!

Well, after nearly five months of looking I got a fulltime, permanent job!!!!! I was approached about it after a very successful temp placement with the parent company. It made me feel really good to be offered something based on a good impression I had made. It is a sales and admin role and is going really well with a wee bit of potential to develop. The money is not fab but I can pay my rent and eat and have a bit of fun so what more can a girl ask – at this point anyway. Vancouver is both notorious and infamous for it’s low hourly pay and generally we suck it up.

I guess the big eye-opener during the job hunt was being forced to realise that women over 40 (35 in some sectors) struggle deeply to get satisfying, well-paid work. We struggle to get any work!! I am now 52 and prior to coming here felt great about my self. I never felt my age, looked my age or had to battle with employment issues because of it. As time went on here, I started becoming very self-conscious, felt old, ugly and unemployable. My boss was looking for someone older who had lived life a bit and didn’t feel a need to rush off to be with a new boyf in Toronto. The older workforce is largely ignored here and this is in part, due to it being a city of young employers and recruiters. Don’t get me started on recruiters……!!!!! Anyhoo, because it is a draw for start-up geeks, is sleek, cool and trendy, a female in her late 30’s and on is not always seen as being of benefit to an employer. This is a shame because Vancouver women of all ages are stylie, groomed, smart and gorgeous. We have so much to offer in terms of knowledge, skill and life experience and while this is not recognised now, it will be. I will bet on it.  I am changed by the job hunt but am determined to get back to feeling good about myself again.

Sundays are the worst day of the week for me and the day that I feel the most homesick and question what the hell I have done by moving here. I thought about it alot to day and had an ‘ah ha’ moment when I realised that rather than missing New Zealand, there is something missing in me and I keep looking externally to find what that is. My friends and family here are all in cute little couples and I am spending way too much time by myself. My social life is uneventful and I don’t get out and do alot so that needs to be fixed. Vancouver has loads to do and I plan to get amongst it. My good friend said that she misses having a comfort zone. We are always being encouraged to get outside our comfort zones, but when you start a new life somewhere you become very keen to develop one. It gives you a familiarity and security that is really crucial to feeling at home. Things still feel strange for me and while I feel at home I don’t feel that ahhhhhhhh feeling yet. It will happen over time. I have only been here 5 months.

Getting back to the single thing……a bit over it really. One of my goals for 2014 is to open my heart up to meeting someone. I am often hesitant to ask my couple friends if I can hang out with them (my insecurity about it rather than them not wanting to). Also, I have been happily single for a long time now and while in the phase of feeling totally unattractive to the opposite sex, am more open to the idea of meeting someone than I have been so that is progress.

So 2014 has alot for me to go after and I plan to hug it hard.

Lots of love,
Cinnamon
image

Advertisements

Horse, are you flogged yet?

Yeah, are ya? I am loving living in Vancouver, I really am. I live on the North Shore (North and West Van, I chose North) and look out my backyard to Grouse Mountain every day. Frickin awesome!!!! Better than the Southern Alps – almost!

The flogged, dead horse to which I refer is the ‘Great Vancouver Job Market’. Now, unlike the wonderful Vancouver Christmas Market downtown on West Georgia, thisvain’t a great market to sell or buy your goods. It is kinda ugly and can suck all the positive energy out of you a bit like the negative friend we all have had.

People say, ‘but Sue, you are Canadian-born so no problem.’ Shit, I wish!!!! All comes down to how much ‘Canadian experience’ you have which is a hard thing to get if you can’t find a Canadian job. The economy is still not fab and there aren’t alot of jobs and you are likely to be one of 200 or more up for ANY job you go for.

I became a teacher in ’09 and before that was largely admin, study and raising my kid. Since being here I have nannied, cleaned and worked as a temp. Perm jobs are a bit like winning Lotto. You just have to buy a ticket each week and ONE day you will win, or get a perm job.  I have been here 4 months and thank god, the temping is picking up slowly but surely.

To date I have applied for jobs in retail, hospo, nannying and other kinds of child care, deli jobs, supermarket jobs, volunteer stuff and well, I can’t rememember what else.

Right now I have $20 to my name. That will pay for the right hand corner of my bathroom in my basement suite for January’s rent!

But I keep flogging the horse – let’s call him Jasper – cos I know that everything will be okay. It has to be, right? I didn’t give up everything in New Zealand to come here and give up. Jasper would hate that. He loves a good flogging.

Yeah, I cry and throw things at Jasper but I love it here and am staying no matter what.

Besides, who would flog Jasper.

Love
Cinnamon
image